


The Winchesters Teach at Hogwarts

by adorably_confused_fallen_angel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 06:34:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4425110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adorably_confused_fallen_angel/pseuds/adorably_confused_fallen_angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i wrote this over a year ago but wanted to post it, soo.... anyway, basically what would happen if the Winchesters taught at Hogwarts. also unbeta'd.<br/>edit: i'll add tags tomorrow morning</p><p>DISCLAIMER: this is absolute shit. read at your own peril :p</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Winchesters Teach at Hogwarts

Sam and Dean Winchester hopped out of the Impala at a motel in California. They had just finished a hunt in San Francisco, a nest of vamps that they destroyed quickly. They were checking in at a slightly decent hotel to get a good night’s rest before going on the road again. As Sam went to check in, Dean opened the Impala’s trunk, searching for his back-up bottle of whiskey.

“Hey, Sam,” he called as Sam came back outside. “Have you seen my whiskey? I would have sworn it was here, but now…” He trailed off as he felt a gaze on his back. He turned around and looked to see who could be watching him, but all he saw was an owl.

“Um, Dean?” Sam asked. “Are you okay, dude?” He glanced at his brother in concern, but Dean wasn’t paying him any attention. His brow was furrowed in concentration as he looked at the owl.

“Sam, do owls typically come out during the day and stare at people?” Dean asked.

“No, why would you even ask that?” Sam wondered.

“Because that owl is watching me,” Dean replied. Sam scoffed.

“Okay, Dean, if you say so.” They both grabbed their stuff and started to head to their room, but the owl flew in front of them and landed on the Impala’s roof. Dean lunged at it but it flew out of the way again, this time dropping an envelope.

“What is that?” Same thought as he went to pick it up. Dean was too busy checking that his baby was okay to worry about anything else going on around him. Sam picked up the envelope, and that was when he noticed that the envelope was made of parchment.

He nudged Dean and Dean turned around to face his younger brother. Before Dean could ask what he wanted, Sam held up the envelope. It said:

 _Dean and Sam Winchester_  
422 South Bend Rd.  
Rm. 24 Night Owl Motel  
Little Oak, CA

_Dear Mr. Dean and Sam Winchester:_

_I am pleased to inform you that you are the new Defense against the Dark Arts professors at Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I am the Headmaster here at Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore. I understand that you are both hunters and that you know a great deal about the supernatural beings in our world. I wish for you to teach the wizarding students here how to survive without access to their magic. I also know that you have dealt with witches before, but please note that we are not like these other witches. We do not get put power from demons, but instead our magic comes from inside ourselves. So please, I do hope that with this knowledge you decide to teach at Hogwarts. Please write back immediately with your response, and whistle for the owl, who will take your answer to me. I hope to see you on August 25._

_Sincerely,_

_Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore  
Hogwarts Headmaster_

Sam and Dean both looked at each other.

“What the fuck?” Dean finally asked. “He can’t seriously expect us to believe that he’s a wizard. Witches, yeah, I get, but wizards with ‘magic from within’ bullshit, hell no!”

“I don’t know, Dean,” Sam finally said. “This could be legit, and if it is, it would be a great break from looking for Lilith and hiding from the douche bag angels. I mean, teaching wizards how to hunt without magic gives us an opportunity to practice without having to hunt. We could still call Bobby and Cas could pop in from time to time, we’d be fine. Why don’t we ask to meet this Dumbledore dude and then call Bobby?”

“Fine,” Dean grumbled. “Do whatever you want.” Sam quickly scribbled down a response on a piece of paper and whistled for the owl. It arrived within a minute and stuck its leg out for Sam to tie the paper onto. It flew away, and Sam and Dean both went inside and fell asleep within minutes.

***

The next morning they got up slightly later than normal and started cleaning their weapons, and then Dean called Bobby. He explained their situation and Bobby told him he might as well go for it; Sam was right that it would be a good distraction for them. He noticed a piece of paper inside the door that simply said, _I will be there at noon._ It was 11:53.

“I guess we don’t have to wait very long then, huh, Dean?” Sam said.

“Guess not,” Dean gruffly replied.

***

They were just finishing packing up their weapons when Dumbledore arrived with a loud *pop*. From out of nowhere, there was a man standing in front of them. He was tall, and wore light blue robes. He had a long crooked nose, and watery blue twinkling eyes. He had half-moon glasses perched on his nose, and a long white beard.

“Ah, you must be Sam and Dean Winchester. I am Professor Dumbledore,” he smiled at them. Dean grabbed his flask of holy water and splashed the old man in the face. Sam looked shocked at Dean’s behavior, but Dumbledore’s grin simply grew. After he wiped his face off, he held out his hand. “I assume you want to test me for silver as well?” And Dean silently made a small incision in the old man’s hand. When it seemed that he had passed all of their test, only then did either of the brothers relax.

“Um, hi?” Sam half- asked. Dumbledore looked at him for a moment before speaking.

“I am assuming you have questions about the job?” he asked.

“Yeah, we do,” Dean said. “For starters, is this… _Hogwarts…_ warded against angels and demons?”

“No, it is not,” Dumbledore started, “but it is off of the map, so one must know where exactly Hogwarts is to appear there.”

“Eh, close enough,” Sam said. “And the Impala, would she be able to come with us? And all of our weapons?”

“Of course,” Dumbledore said. “That will not be a problem. And of course, you will have rooms at Hogwarts, and three meals a day. I would set up an account at Gringotts for you to use to buy normal wizarding supplies as well as books such as _Hogwarts: A History._ You would come with me now and stay at the Leaky Cauldron in Diagon Alley until August 25, when you could drive to Hogwarts.”

“That sounds great,” Sam said. “What do you say, Dean?”

“Is there cell reception there? Could our buddy Cas pop in whenever he wants?” Dean asked.

“Yes, your friend Cas could come by whenever he wishes, permitted he doesn’t reveal the location to anyone.” Sam snickered, because Cas hardly answered them these days. “And I am sure I could arrange for you to receive cell reception and internet access, as well,” Dumbledore finished.

“You know what,” Dean said. “It’s a done arrangement,” careful to avoid the word _deal_.

“Perfect,” Dumbledore replied. “Grab your stuff and we will use a portkey to arrive at Diagon Alley, that way you can take your car with you.”

“Wait… you mean that we’re leaving, like, _now_ now? I thought you meant, like, tomorrow now.” Dean freaked out. “What about clothes? Sam needs to do research, and we still need to tell Cas that we’re going with you.”

“Dean, it’s fine,” Sam told him. “Let’s just get this over with. We only need to stay at the Leaky Cauldron for three days, so we’re totally fine. Calm down.” Dumbledore looked between the two brothers.

They walked outside after Sam and Dean gathered all of their stuff and put it in the car. Dumbledore took out his wand from his robe pocket and waved it around three times, saying some Latin mumbo jumbo. Then, all three men got inside the car, and all of a sudden there was nothing, and then everything. They had reappeared in London, outside of a little store with a sign that said “The Leaky Cauldron.” Dumbledore did some more of his magic stuff, and then led the two men inside.

When they walked in, everything seemed to quiet down, and then the barkeeper, Tom, asked Dumbledore if he wanted his usual.

“Not today, Tom, I am taking care of Hogwarts business.” He gestured to the two slightly confused looking men behind him. Tom frowned slightly before mouthing “Muggles?” at Dumbledore, who only gave him a look, which was enough confirmation in and of itself. He then checked Dean and Sam into their rooms, and left to finish some other business.

HP HP HP

Harry Potter was having a rotten day. Between being stuck dealing with the Weasley twins, and being trapped in Number 12 Grimauld Place, he was starting to go crazy.

“Guys, guys, listen to this!” Ginny exclaimed as she ran up the stairs to his room where the others were gathered. “Dumbledore hired new DADA professors!”

“So, what’s the big deal?” Ron asked grumpily.

“Just listen,” Ginny said before continuing. “’A new year, another shocking surprise from Dumbledore. This year, Dumbledore hires _two_ new Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers. It is known that DADA teachers usually only last one year before some tragic accident strikes. This year, it seems Hogwarts tragedy has struck early. The two new professors, Sam and Dean Winchester, are both Muggles from the US. From the little facts that could be gathered about them, it seems that they have no teaching experience at all. Even for Dumbledore, this is a shocking low for his new additions to Hogwarts during his regime.’” Ginny finished reading quickly.

“But what does this mean?” Hermione asked. “How are we supposed to learn any defensive magic if we’re being taught by Muggles? They probably didn’t even know wizards existed until yesterday!”

“It means Dumbledore’s finally lost his marbles!” Fred exclaimed.

“Well, if it was Dumbledore’s decision,” Harry said, “then I’m going to trust that it’s the right decision.”

SPN SPN SPN

(4 days later, at Hogwarts)

“Dude, Sam, look at these portraits!” Dean couldn’t help being excited at some finally non-evil magic that they didn’t have to fight. Before they left London, they said their goodbyes to Bobby, and then prayed to Cas, who did finally show up and put some angel mojo on their phones so that they could call Bobby while at Hogwarts.

Sam smiled at his older brother. He was more excited by the giant ass never-ending library that Hogwarts was home to.

“Come on, Dean,” Sam said with a smile. “We have to meet Dumbledore and the other teachers to talk about stuff.”

“Fine, fine,” Dean grumbled. “Let’s go, then.” They hurried together to the Great Hall, only needing to wait for the staircases to change direction twice.

They arrived nearly ten minutes late, but with giddy smiles on their faces after talking to some _finally_ friendly ghosts.

“It kinda feels nice to not have to do any salt and burns, doesn’t it, Sammy?” Dean asked as they entered the Great Hall.

“Sammy is a chubby twelve year old, Dean. It’s Sam,” Sam told his brother.

“Whatever, bitch,” Dean replied.

“Jerk.” They finished their conversation as they neared the teacher’s table. Many of the teachers were looking at them curiously. Some of them, like the one man with pale skin and greasy black hair and a hooked nose, looked at them with disdain. Dean noticed and smirked at him, and the man scowled deeply.

“Sam and Dean Winchester?” A tall old lady asked. She was wearing olive green robes.

“That’s us,” Dean smirked again. “I’m the handsome, older one, Dean, and this is my little brother Sammy.” He jerked his thumb towards Sam.

“It’s Sam,” Sam grumbled. The old lady smiled.

“I am Professor Minerva McGonagall. I am the head of the Gryffindor house. Professor Snape is the head of Slytherin house.” She gestured to the pale man with greasy hair. He frowned at the Winchester brothers.

“Good to know,” Dean said snarkily. “So, what do we need to know?”

“Well, first of all, there has been a slight change of plans. Instead of only teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, you are also going to be teaching Muggle Studies. As well, you will have to spend another part of your day watching Remus teach his DADA class, just so you have an idea what they are being taught in the magical half of your class,” McGonagall told them.

“Okay, that’s fine,” Sam told them. “Is that all?”

“Yes,” another man replied. “I will be showing you around Hogwarts. I’m Remus Lupin.”

“Okay, then,” Dean said. “Shall we go?” he asked with a grand gesture to the doors to the Great Hall.

“Very well,” Lupin said. “I will see you in half an hour,” he told McGonagall.

He led the brothers through the doors and to the library to begin with. “So Dumbledore told me you two were hunters?” Lupin said casually, almost nervously.

“Yeah, Dad raised us into the life,” Sam told him.

“Oh. Well, before you freak out, I wanted to tell you, I’m a werewolf.” Dean grabbed his gun from his pocket and turned around quickly to point it at Lupin’s head, pushing him up against the wall.

“Dean!” Sam exclaimed, rushing to pull his brother off of the older man. “Dean, calm down!”

Dean took a few steps back but he didn’t lower his gun. “How do we know we can trust you then?” he snarled at Lupin. Lupin didn’t flinch, but his eyes did widen a fraction.

“I- you can watch me this full moon if you want, but I’ve got it under control. I haven’t killed anybody since I was first turned, _when I was thirteen._ ” Dean took another step back and lowered his gun finally.

“Sorry,” he said without much emotion.

“It’s fine,” Lupin said just as emotionlessly. “I just wanted to tell you before you found out and did that while catching me by surprise.” They finished the tour quickly after that.

HP HP HP

Harry looked around his crowded compartment on board Hogwarts Express. He remembered when it had been just him, Ron, and Hermione, but now it was full with the original trio and Ginny and Luna and Neville.

“So what are you guys thinking about Muggle professors?” Ginny asked Luna and Neville.

“We aren’t going to learn anything useful to help us survive!” Neville wailed. “We can’t fight other wizards in hand-to-hand combat, they would just kill us right away.”

“I think Neville’s right,” Luna said in her soft voice. “This won’t do us any good.”

“I don’t know,” Hermione said. “This might do us some good to consider how to protect ourselves with Muggles around when we _can’t_ use magic.” She had thought about this subject quite a bit since it was announced and decided that the idea was becoming a little more welcome in her head.

“We’ll just have to see where this goes,” Harry said, ending the discussion.

SPN SPN SPN

Sam and Dean were sitting at the teacher’s table in their jeans and plaid shirts, (and leather jacket), when the students started entering the Great Hall. Dean noticed that they were the only people not wearing robes. Everybody was looking at them, and Sam fidgeted under the stares. Dean, however, was soaking up the attention like a sponge. Sam had his flask of demon blood, just enough for a small sip a day to get him through the year until he could see Ruby, and he knew he was addicted. He knew it was bad, but he couldn’t stop unless he was in the panic room. So he had a sip from his silver flask and put it away before Dean could see. Eventually, he was able to ignore the curious stares until Dumbledore started speaking.

“Welcome, to another great year at Hogwarts. As I’m sure you’ve all heard, we have two new DADA professors, Professors Sam and Dean Winchester.” Sam smiled and waved nervously and Dean smirked at the crowd. Dumbledore started talking about school rules when Sam heard the rustle in the air that meant an angel had arrived. He heard Dumbledore stop speaking and saw people stare behind him and Dean. He turned around in his chair when Dean stood up.

“Cas,” Dean said carefully. “Why are you here?”

“I am here to tell you that another Seal has been broken,” Cas said in his gruff voice. “And now Zachariah is looking for you so he can make you say yes, Dean.”

“Son of a bitch,” Dean swore. “How many Seals are left?”

“Ten,” Cas said.

“Are you able to, like, stop them or mojo them away or something?” Sam asked.

Cas opened his mouth to speak when somebody cleared their throat. Sam looked over his shoulder at Dumbledore, who was looking very angry.

“Sorry, Dumbledore,” Dean said. “But this is way more important than your speech.”

“No, I cannot ‘mojo them away’, Dean, but I can guard you two so that Zachariah cannot find you.” He reached forward and pressed his hands to their chests. They felt a burning pain and then  
Cas pulled his hands away and it was gone.

“What was that?” Dean gasped, clutching his ribcage.

“I carved Enochian sigils into your ribs. Now no angel can find you, including me. I am not asking you to leave here; you have made a deal-“

Dean and Sam both winced. “Please don’t say we made a deal, Cas.” Dean asked. “I’ve had enough deals to last me a lifetime.”

“I understand you have made an _arrangement_ ,” Cas said instead. “And I know that you must uphold your end, but I also came to let you know that if Lucifer breaks free while you are here, if Sam says no, then we can keep him contained. And Dean, don’t say yes to Michael, otherwise none of this will matter. Michael can then torture Sam into saying yes.”

He started to turn away, but then he turned back to them. “And since you are hidden from me, if I need to speak to you I will wait in your room. Just… don’t do anything stupid. I can’t pull you from Heaven or Hell again.” And then he flew away, leaving nothing but shocked faces staring at them as they sat back down.

“Um, sorry?” Sam said to the crowd.

A student spoke up. “What does he mean he can’t pull you from Heaven or Hell again? How many times have you died?” He added as a joke, but Sam and Dean looked at each other and started counting.

“Um, between the two of us, about ten times maybe,” Dean finally said. There was a collective gasp in the room. “But, uh, we can tell you about that later, so let Professor Dumbledore finish.” He turned to Dumbledore and mouthed, “Sorry.”

Dumbledore finished his speech with all attention on him, so he was willing to let it slide. But after his speech, everyone was talking about the new professors.

HP HP HP

“They’ve been to Hell?” Hermione gasped. Harry heard Dean Thomas down the table say, “Was that an _angel_?”

“I wonder if they’ve met God?” Ron wondered.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Ginny snapped. “Of course they haven’t met God.”

“Wait, what is Enochian?” Hermione asked, now set on learning something new.

“How would I know?” Ron snapped at her.

“Oh, calm down,” Harry said. “Angels aren’t even supposed to exist. I highly doubt they’ve met God. That dude in the trench coat was probably just Dumbledore’s friend to get our attention.”

“Well, if he was supposed to be Dumbledore’s friend, then why did Dumbledore look so angry?” Neville asked quietly.

“Who knows,” Harry sighed.

SPN SPN SPN

After dinner, Sam and Dean stayed behind to apologize to Dumbledore. It seemed that all of the teachers had stayed behind, so the brothers weren’t all that out of place. As the last students wandered out the doors, Sam and Dean approached the tight circle of teachers.

“Um, we just wanted to apologize-“ Sam started to explain, but Snape cut him off.

“What do you think you are doing here?!” he exclaimed. “We teach students how to use defensive spells and transfiguration, not wonder about Heaven or Hell or angels!”

“Forgive us for trying to stop the Apocalypse,” Dean fumed. “It’s not our fault we want to save the world!”

“Yes, because a drunk and an addict can save the world with a man in a trench coat,” Snape retorted without thinking.

Dean flushed deeply and got up in Snape’s face. “You watch what you say, or I may have found my next hunt.” Then he turned and stalked away, and Sam had no choice but to follow his brother out the door.

***

The next morning, Sam and Dean hurried to get dressed. They skipped the required robes again, knowing they would only anger Snape, McGonagall and Dumbledore. They walked to the Great Hall again slowly, taking their time to talk to the portraits (because who wouldn’t get sick of talking paintings?). They arrived just as people started eating. When they got to their seats, they noticed Dumbledore give them a look that clearly said “I need to talk to you.” Dean nodded before turning all of his attention to the food that appeared in front of him, noticing the pie that was only a few inches from his grasp. He stood up slightly and leaned over to grab the cherry pie. After he had a full plate of only pie, he sat down and sighed happily. When was the last time he had eaten whatever he wanted? He didn’t know. He looked over at Sam and saw that his brother was stuffing his face almost as quickly as Dean himself. They didn’t notice the slightly disgusted the other teachers sent them as they finished multiple plates of food in a matter of minutes.

Nearly twenty minutes after the food magically appeared on the tables, Dumbledore stood up and cleared his throat.

“For first years, I would like to remind you again that the Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason. If you are in Professors Winchester’ Defense Against the Dark Arts class, you will be meeting in the appropriate classroom, and then you will spend part of your class in the Forest. Please, hurry to your classes now.” The students quickly grabbed their bags and hurried out into the hallways. Sam and Dean turned to Dumbledore.

“You wanted to talk to us, Professor?” Sam asked, always much more polite than Dean.

“Yes,” Dumbledore said. “I wanted to apologize for Professor Snape’s behavior and-“

“Wait, you want to apologize for him?” Dean asked incredulous. “Even I have to admit, we were kind of egging him on yesterday.”

“I understand that,” Dumbledore said not unkindly. “I also know that you must be very stressed and what he said was not called for. Now, I must say, I was not pleased when I was interrupted, but seeing as how I can hardly punish you for your friend’s behavior, I do not mind when or where you meet as long as it is not interrupting something.”

“Yes, sir,” both brothers said.

“Now, you may want to get to your class now and keep your students from waiting much longer.”

HP HP HP

Harry, Ron, and Hermione all sat together at a desk in the DADA classroom.

“What do you think is taking them so long?” Ron asked grumpily. “Think they want us to suffer in the cold the whole day?”

“Ron, shush,” Hermione scolded him. “They’re just talking to Dumbledore. Didn’t you see those looks they were exchanging during breakfast?”

“Of course we didn’t, ‘Mione,” Harry grumbled. “We were too busy trying to wake up.”

At that particular moment, Dean walked in, followed closely by Sam. Everyone in the classroom stopped muttering and paid them attention.

“Hi, everyone,” Dean greeted them. “I’m Dean Winchester, and this is my brother Sam. Call us Professor or just Dean or Sam. Now, I am sure many of you are curious as to why _Muggles_ ,” he said the word with distaste, “are teaching one of the classes where magic is fundamental. Well, Professor Remus Lupin will be teaching your normal DADA class. Sam and I will also teach your Muggle Studies class. Now let’s get started. Let’s start off with any basic questions.” He raised an eyebrow and looked around at the students, all gazing at them with various looks on their faces.

He noticed a girl with bushy brown hair raise her hand. He pointed at her. “Yes, you. What’s your name?”

“Um, I’m Hermione Granger, sir,” Dean looked at her coldly and she quickly said. “Ms. Granger, Professor.” Dean nodded and she continued. “Um, Professor Dumbledore said we would be going into the Forbidden Forest during class. Is that true?”

“That’s true,” Sam said instead of Dean. “But we won’t be going in there until you at least know how to do a simple salt and burn and deal with a Wendigo. All right, are those all the questions?”

“Is it true that you’ve been to Hell? And was that a real angel last night?” Dean froze from playing with his demon knife, and Sam leaned back and gripped the desk tightly.

“What’s your name?” Dean asked, not as sharply as Sam or half the class had expected he would.

“Draco Malfoy, Professor,” the boy said snottily.

“Yes, I have been to Hell, and yes, we have been to Heaven, and yes that was an angel last night,” Dean answered his questions quietly. “Now, today’s introductory lesson will be on angels, considering they’re dicks so we should get them out of the way. Well, Cas isn’t a dick,” he added as an afterthought.

“Dean, do you still have the demon knife and angel blade?” Sam asked his brother.

“Yes, of course I do,” Dean retorted sharply, back to his cocky confident self. “Should I pray to Cas or Balthy?”

Sam looked at the students and back to his brother. “Well, we trust Cas more than Balthazar, don’t we?”

Dean nodded and looked down at his feet before muttering, “I pray to thee Cas to get your feathery ass down here or so help me I will follow up on my threat and kick your ass.”

HP HP HP

Harry heard a noise, almost like fluttering wings, and then out of nowhere there was a man standing behind Dean, almost touching him. Dean turned around.

“Cas, we’ve talked about this.” He swallowed. “Personal space.”

The man- angel? Cas- took a step back and said, “My apologies.”

He was wearing a rumpled looking suit and a dark blue tie that was backwards, as well as a trench coat that was splattered with blood.

“Dammit, Cas, did we interrupt something?” Sam asked him, obviously noting the blood stains. Cas looked down at his trench coat. The students looked on with fear and surprise, because their new teachers had just summoned an angel that was obviously doing something bad-ass.

“Oh. This was just from Crowley,” he waved his hand and his trench coat was clean again.

“I thought you weren’t talking to him anymore,” Dean asked warily.

“No, I am not, but I um- needed to find out where the final Seal will break.”

“Oh. Well, if you can spare a few moments, we’re teaching these kids about angels, so we thought you could help,” Dean gestured broadly at the class that was sitting silently, watching the strange exchange between the three men.

“Of course. I will be ready to help at any time. Where do you want me to start?” Cas asked the brothers, but at the same time he asked the class.

“Can you, uh, do the wing thing?” Dean asked him.

“What wing thing?” Sam asked, confused.

“Oh, uh, when me and Bobby summoned Cas I didn’t believe he was an angel so he did this thing with the lights and I could see his wings,” Dean told his brother.

Cas stood there silently, and rolled his shoulders seemingly in response to Dean’s question. He angled himself in the classroom almost pointlessly, until the lights flickered and then shattered all over the floor. The students screamed and threw up their arms to protect their faces, when they noticed two very shadowlike black wings projected across the entire almost forty foot wall for a moment. Then it was gone, and Castiel was rolling his shoulders again.

“Do you wish for anything else, Dean?” Castiel asked in his low, gravelly voice.

Dean held up a normal silver blade, and Castiel faced forward to the students. Dean moved to stand behind Castiel, and he plunged the knife into the angel’s back. More students screamed, and this time Professor Snape came running through the door to see Dean pulling a knife out of a strange man’s back, bloody.

“What is the meaning of this?” Snape asked grumpily.

“Dean is demonstrating how angels are immune to everything except holy oil and angel blades. Thank my Father there are only three known angel blades in existence,” Cas explained to the class and Professor Snape, who was staring uncomprehendingly at the scene in front of him. Dean grinned at him and then Cas.

“Now, Cas, do you know where we could summon ourselves an archangel turned Trickster?” Sam asked.

SPN SPN SPN

After the first class with Cas and the knife and light catastrophe, Sam and Dean decided to stick to photographs and Bobby’s books. They bantered back and forth, much to the student’s amusement. A few weeks in to their lessons, they decided to move on to archangels and demons.

“Hey, um, Cas? Can you come down here for a second?” Dean prayed in between classes. He heard the flutter of wings as students started entering. They were used to the angel’s presence by now.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas greeted him.

“Hey, Cas. So, um, I was wondering if you trusted Gabriel enough that you think it would be okay for him to come down here for a class on archangels and Tricksters. Like, would he betray us to the other angels?” Dean asked Cas in a rush.

Castiel thought about it for a moment before he agreed. He stayed to help them summon his brother. Dean and Sam instructed the students to stay in the hall while they summoned Gabriel.

“Why can’t we stay in here?” Malfoy whined. Crabbe and Goyle looked just as upset as the Gryffindors, but the “lion house” members were smart enough to keep their mouths shut.

“Because-“ Dean started to reprimand before Cas cut him off.

“If you wish to stay inside, you may, but you must follow _all_ instructions obediently, or you may go blind.”

“If not worse,” Sam muttered under his breath. Castiel looked at him sharply before disappearing to gather supplies to summon his brother.

“Where’d he go now?” another Slytherin complained. Dean glared at her and she went quiet immediately.

Cas reappeared with a jar of what looked like blood, small bones, and a tub of an oily substance. The three set up the ritual quickly, as if they had done it a million times before, (which they had, but none of the students knew that).

Before they started the incantation, as Sam was pouring the holy oil in a circle, Dean turned to the students and said, “If you want to survive, you won’t say anything until you are given explicit permission to do so.” Something about his tone seemed to scare most students so much that they could only nod in fear of what might happen. Harry, and Draco, however, simply scoffed. What could be so scary that they would die if they talked?

Castiel started chanting, and there was a noise of rustling feathers, and suddenly there was a man standing in the middle of the holy oil circle. The man looked down at it as Dean lighted it with an evil smirk on his face. The new man had brown hair and hazel eyes and it seemed that he summoned a lollipop out of nowhere.

He turned to Cas with a grin on his face.

“So, little bro, you finally decide to ask for help with this whole stopping the Apocalypse?” the stranger asked flippantly.

“No, I will not ask you for help, Gabriel, as it seems you are not very helpful while dealing with the Winchesters,” Castiel told the man-Gabriel.

Gabriel turned to Sam. “Hey, Sam,” he drawled. “Guess what day it is?” He snapped his fingers and _Heat of the Moment_ emanated from the walls of the dungeon. Sam flinched and turned to Dean immediately, who stepped closer to Sam.

“No, no, no,” Sam said almost to himself. “You swore you were done with that time loop thing, you said that you wouldn’t do it again, and couldn’t you cut us some slack, I mean, I already lasted four months without him and I knew he was gone so I learned my lesson so please don’t do this again-“ he said all in a quick breath. The man flicked his wrist and Sam fell silent.

“So, Dean-o,” Gabriel asked Dean. “Would you say Sam learned how to deal without you? Or do we have to repeat Tuesdays… _again_?”

“N-no,” Dean stuttered, and the class was scared because since when was Professor Dean scared? “He’s learned his lesson; we don’t have to do that again, I’d prefer to not die a hundred times in a row thank you very much.” Sam looked very, very scared.

Gabriel smirked. “Fine.” And the song stopped playing. “Now what do you boys want? Make it quick, I’m terrorizing a college student right now and he can’t decide if he wants to slow dance with an alien or meet fairies.”

Dean shuddered. “Just do the aliens again. Fairies are a pain in the ass.” Gabriel smiled and snapped his fingers.

“Aliens? Again?” Draco asked. “What’s the deal with Tuesdays?” Gabriel turned to Draco and stared at him.

“Detention, Malfoy, and be happy I’m scared now,” Sam told Malfoy.

“Now what’s this boys?” Gabe asked. “Are you in on this, too, little Cassie? Teaching stupid little kids about the big, bad world?”

“I’m not stupid,” Malfoy spoke up without thinking.

“Really?” Gabriel asked him. “Then why aren’t you quivering in fear right now? How do you kill a Wendigo? Who are the archangels?” Draco stammered and Castiel interrupted whatever Dean was about to say.

“Gabriel, stop,” Castiel demanded in a stern voice. “Sam and Dean are taking a break from hunting for Lilith. I say they have earned it, don’t you? If nothing else then simply from with you and then your other Pagan god friends?”

“Fine, fine,” Gabriel said. “But I do want to hear about this.”

“Well, actually, we’re teaching them about archangels, and then we’re moving on to Tricksters, so we thought it would be fitting to have you talk to them.” Dean spoke to Gabriel, who smiled mischieviously.

“Of _course_ , I’ll help you, Dean-o,” Gabriel teased them. “ _If_ you promise that you will feed me treats and not trap me in holy oil.”

“Wait, that’s holy oil?” Hermione blurted out, looking almost awed.

“Um, yeah, what’s the big deal?” Sam asked, barely sparing her a glance.

“That’s super rare. Where’d you get it?” Hermione questioned.

“Dean says we pulled it out of Sam’s ass,” Cas told her.

“What?” the students spluttered, and Dean grinned.

“Oh, well, my little minions. Let’s get started,” Gabriel said with a grin.

***

A month or so passed, and while the brothers had an easy time teaching about angels and demons, they had a harder time teaching lesser-known creatures, such as Wendigos and Djinns, and the students refused to learn about demon deals. One day after a particularly fruitless class, Dumbledore called them into his office.

“Boys, I hear that you are having some trouble teaching certain aspects of your class,” Dumbledore said by way of greeting when they got to his office.

“Yeah, just a little,” Sam said. Dean was still sulking from having to repeatedly explain about the Wendigo, because, obviously, it really shouldn’t be that hard to understand.

“Well, is there anything I can do to help?” Dumbledore questioned.

“Not unless you have something that can show them exactly what we’re talking about, as we remember it. You don’t have something like that, do you?” Dean asked, almost scared.

“Actually, I may have something you may find useful. It’s called a Pensieve,” Dumbledore told them. “It allows you to view memories from a third-person point of view.”

Sam and Dean looked at each other. “And how does it work?” Dean asked the old man.

“How about I show you?” Dumbledore said. He took his wand and held it to his temple. His face looked slightly pained and he was concentrating, and he removed his wand from his temple, pulling with him a silvery wisp-like string. He walked over to a shallow stone bowl and put the silver string in the bowl. Then he motioned for the two brothers to walk over to him, and he instructed them to lean forward and look into it.

They did, and were pulled forward into the Pensieve. They were standing in Dumbledore’s office, only it was dark outside, and they could see themselves sitting in some chairs in front of Dumbledore’s desk.

Then they were pulled out, before anyone could even say anything.

“What the hell was that?” Sam spluttered in surprise.

“That was one of my memories,” Dumbledore told them. He took his wand and removed the string from the bowl and pressed it back to his temple, where it promptly disappeared.

“Dude, that’s gross,” Dean commented. “I mean, ew.”

Dumbledore simply looked at him before speaking as if Dean had not said anything. “You may use this for your class if you wish, to show your students some of your memories of the creatures you have faced.”

“You know, that would be great,” Sam told him. “So, are we going to, like, borrow this one from you or use a different one, or what?”

“I have already placed one in your classroom for you to use for tomorrow’s classes if you wish.”

“Great, thanks, but now we have to go try to teach another class now,” Dean muttered.

“Very well, you may go,” Dumbledore told them. They headed back to their classroom where the students were shuffling around uncertainly; wondering where their teachers had disappeared to.

“We’re back,” Dean announced in an annoying sing-song voice. Malfoy muttered something under his breath.

“What was that, Malfoy?” Sam snapped.

“I- I said that it was about time Muggles started being on time,” Malfoy stammered.

Dean glared at him and Sam simply stared at him for a few moments before turning away, and Malfoy looked scared as to what would happen to him.

“Alright, I know we’ve gone over demons already, and we just barely touched on deals,” Dean started. Sam kind of stepped back, as Dean had more experiences with deals. “So today, we are going to explain more in depth what happens when you make a deal with a crossroads demon. Or Crowley.” The students exchanged glances with each other.

“This is a Pensieve,” Sam stepped forward. “It allows you to watch memories, and we will use it to show you our personal experience with deals. We’ll be using Dean’s memories for this lesson.” Dean gave him an imitation bitch-face and put his wand to his temple and concentrated on the specific memories he wanted to use.

“Um, Sam, do you want to use your memory for the hellhound? Considering I was, you know…” Dean trailed off, gesturing to the floor vaguely.

“Yeah, sure,” Sam replied, and he took his own memory from the hellhound attack and added it to the Pensieve.

“Because you were what?” Hermione asks curiously.

“You’ll see,” Dean tells her in an emotionless voice.

“So, we aren’t going to tell you the circumstances, because they should be explained here just fine. Everybody line up. Dean’ll go in first and I’ll bring up the end of the line.” The students looked at each other nervously before stepping in line. Harry and Draco somehow ended up at the front of the line together.

“Alright, in here, you will be like ghosts, so you can’t get hurt, and nothing you do will affect anything, since this is after all a memory. Follow me,” Dean told his students, and he dove into the Pensieve.

He fell on his butt in a small, seemingly abandoned town. He winced, remembering these night’s events. He vaguely noticed his students appearing around him, and finally Sam, who stepped forward and gripped Dean’s hand tightly, letting him know that he was, in fact, there and alive. They see Dean and Bobby run towards the large group of students, and then through them.

“Sam, watch out!” Dean cries, and they see Jake run up behind Sam and stab him in the back. Dean runs over to Sam.

“Hey, hey… come here, come here, let me look at ‘ya,” Dean says. He looks at Sam’s back and sees the stab wound, knowing immediately there’s no way he can survive. The students look at the scene in front of them in horror.

“Oh, hey look, it’s not even that bad... It’s not even that bad, alright? Sammy, Sam! Hey, listen to me, we are going to patch you up, okay? You’ll be good as new. Huh? I’m going to take care of you! I gotcha. It’s my job, right; watch after my pain-in-the-ass little brother… Sam… Sam… Sam! Sammy!” Sam gurgles blood in Dean’s arms and then dies, and both the Dean in the memory and the Dean in the present heave a broken sob. “No. No-no-no-no-no-no. Oh, God. Oh, God, Sam!”  Some of the students hold back a few tears, and Malfoy looks like he might throw up. Then the scene shifts, and they’re at a crossroads, during the middle of the night.

They see Dean take out a small box, and he puts a fake I.D. of himself in it before putting it in a small hole in the middle of the crossroads.

He looks around, and when he doesn’t see anybody there, he shouts, “Oh, come on, already! Show your face, you bitch!” A woman appears in a black dress and she flashes her eyes red for a second before they go back to normal.

“Easy, sugar,” she says. “You’ll wake the neighbors. Dean. It is so, _so_ good to see you.” She breathes in sharply. “I mean it. Look at you. Gone and got your family killed. All alone in the world. It’s too sweet. Excuse me; you’re going to have to give me a moment.” She steps closer to Dean, so they are almost nose to nose. “Sometimes, you gotta stop and smell the roses.”

Dean says, “I should send you straight back to Hell.”

“Oh, you should,” she replies snarkily. “But you won’t. And I know why.”

The students are staring at the show-down in front of them, not noticing that their teacher is pale, and Sam looks like he’s about to throw up.

“Oh, yeah?” Dean questions her.

“Yeah. Following in Daddy’s footsteps. You wanna make a deal.” A student gasps. “Little Sammy back from the dead, and- let me guess- you’re offering up your own soul?” Multiple students gasp this time, not realizing that their teachers had actually made deals and died.

“There are a hundred other demons who’d love to get their hands on it,” Dean tells her. “And it’s all yours. All you gotta do is bring Sam back. And give me ten years- ten years, and then you come for me.”

The demon stares at him. “You must be joking.”

“That’s the same deal you give everybody else.”

The demon looks at him steadily. “You’re not everybody else.” She moves closer and whispers in Dean’s ear. “Why would I want to give you anything? Keep your gutter soul. It’s too tarnished, anyway.”

Dean nods. “Nine years.”

“No.”

“Eight.”

The demon laughs. “You keep going, I’ll keep saying no.”

“Okay, five years. Five years, and my bill comes due. That’s my last offer- five years or no deal.”

Sam leans toward Dean. “You sure were cocky.”

“Well, I thought they were fighting over us for a reason. Guess I was right, huh, Sammy?” He says with a broken smile. The demon leans in for a kiss with the Dean in the memory.

“Then no deal.”

“Fine,” Dean says.

“Fine.” She turns and walks away. “Make sure you bury Sam before he starts stinking up the joint.”

Dean flinches. “Wait.”

“It’s a fire sale, and everything must go,” the demon says softly.

“What do I have to do?” Dean asks.

“First of all, quit groveling. Needy guys are such a turnoff.” She sighs. “Look… Look, I shouldn’t be doing this. I could get in a lot of trouble. But what can I say? I got a blind spot for you, Dean. You’re like a… puppy. You’re just too fun to play with.” She sighs again. “I’ll do it.”

“You’ll bring him back?” Dean asks.

“I will. And because I’m such a saint, I’ll give you one year, and one year only. But here’s the thing. If you try and welch and weasel your way out, then the deal is off. Sam drops dead. He’s back to rotten meat in no time. So… it’s a better deal than your dad every got. What do you say?”

“The little bitch,” Sam growls. “I am so hunting her down after this.”

Dean grabs the demon and kisses her, sealing the deal. The students look confused, and their teacher Dean explains with a sigh, “You seal the deal with a kiss.”

The scene shifts again. This time, they are in an office. The students see Sam, Dean, and another girl with blonde hair.

“Little bitch,” their teachers growl, and the students are looking very confused.

Dean in the memory pours dust in front of the doors and windows. The girl turns to Sam. “That’s Ruby,” Sam whispers to his students in a hushed voice.

“Give me the knife, maybe I can fight it off,” Ruby says. Sam looks at her, very confused.

“What?” He asks a bit incredulously.

“Come on! That dust won’t last forever.” Dean looks at the pair from over Sam’s shoulder. Sam takes out the knife after a moment and is about to hand it to Ruby when Dean yells, “Wait!”

“You wanna die?” Ruby asks him.

“Sam, that’s not Ruby! It’s not Ruby!” Dean shouts.

Sam turns back to face Ruby, who, with a flick of her wrist, pins him against the wall. He drops the knife and it falls to the floor. She then flings Dean on top of the table and pins him down. She bends down and picks up her knife.

“How long have you been in her?” Dean asks. Ruby’s face contorts until it’s almost childlike.

Lilith has possessed the body Ruby was in.

“Not long,” Lilith tells them. She looks down at her body as she speaks. “But I like it. It’s all grown up and pretty.” She looks at Dean and her eyes turn white.

The students all huddle closer together, and their teachers hold on to each other’s hands tightly, faces white. The students look at them and are scared, because what can scare their teachers so badly?

Sam asks, “And where’s Ruby?”

Lilith turns her eyes back to normal.

“She was a very bad girl, so I sent her far, far away,” Lilith told them. She cracks her neck slowly.

Dean says, “You know, I should have seen it before… but you all look alike to me.” After a moment she turns to Sam and walks over to him slowly.

“Hello, Sam,” she says. “I’ve wanted to meet you for a very long time.”She grabs his chin and kisses him.

“Your lips are soft,” she tells him. Malfoy looks disgusted. Sam moves his head to the side, trying to escape her grip.

“Right, so you have me. Let my brother go,” Sam says. He looks down at her.

“Silly goose. You wanna bargain, you have to have something that I want. You don’t.”

“So, is this you big plan, huh?” Dean asks almost cockily. “Drag me to hell. Kill Sam. And then what? Become queen bitch?”

“I don’t have to answer to puppy chow,” Lilith says, and the present Dean and Sam flinch. Dean is trying to resist against Lilith’s powers, clearly in pain on the table. Lilith looks at Dean as she moves away from Dean, and she grabs hold of the door handle. Dean cries out.

“Sic ‘em, boys,” Lilith says.

“You might not want to watch this,” Sam says to the students, but they look on with wide scared eyes instead. Sam in the memory snaps his head to Dean at this, and Dean looks at him and then at the door. Lilith opens the door and the dust blows away as the hellhound jumps on him. The students look around, confused, trying to find what their teachers are so afraid of. Lilith just smiles and laughs. The hellhound grabs Dean by the legs and pulls him down as he screams. It begins to rip him apart as Sam stands against the wall, unable to move and go to his brother.

“No! Stop!” Sam screams. Lilith simply looks over at Sam and then down at Dean who’s struggling on the floor. The hellhound has already slashed his right leg to bits and is not attacking his chest as he screams in pain. He turns onto his stomach. The hellhound slashes Dean on his back and shoulder, and soon his clothes are covered in blood.

“No!” Sam cries out. Dean flips over and the hellhound slashes him over his chest, blood gushing out. Sam can only watch in horror. The students look not much different from the Sam who is seeing it for the first time. Dean is pale and trembling, obviously remembering the pain.

“Stop it,” Sam says.

Dean is taking his last breaths now.

“STOP IT!!” Sam screams. The blood pours out of Dean’s chest and he’s not screaming anymore, but he’s still not dead. Lilith smiles at Sam.

“No,” he says weakly.

“Yes,” Lilith says. She holds out her hand and suddenly white light erupts from it. As it builds up Sam turns his head and closes his eyes. Suddenly the light is retracted, her eyes still white but becoming normal. She looks confused and shocked. Sam is huddled on the floor, huddled in a corner next to a cabinet, holding his hands up in front of his face. When he notices nothing has happened and the light is gone he slowly takes down his hands and rises up to a standing position. She looks at the floor, afraid. She holds her hand back out and says, “Back.”

Sam starts walking forward, and reaches down to grab Ruby’s knife. He is about to stab her when she throws her head back and black smoke escapes from her mouth, disappearing into the vents. Sam drops the knife and goes over to Dean, who is now dead. He begins to cry as he bends down next to him. He picks up Dean, holding his head close.

“No… no… Dean…” he starts to sob, and the scene change one last time.

“Why aren’t we back in the classroom?” Sam asks Dean.

“No, no we shouldn’t be here. No, this isn’t happening again. Why are we here?” Dean starts to freak out. And Malfoy seems to have recovered enough to snicker at the sight of a crying Dean, who suddenly reaches forward and punches the kid.

“Dean!” Sam snaps, but then he looks around. There are green clouds, and wires stretched everywhere, to infinity. There is thunder and lightning and Dean is screaming. They look up and see Dean lying on some of the chains, hooks through his right shoulder and waist. He is chained by his arms and legs, spread wide. Sam sees a long, lean man walk up to Dean.

“We are going to have _so much fun_ , Dean-o.” It’s Alistair. Dean is bloody and sweaty, and there is blood in his mouth.

“HELP!!” he screams. “NO! SOMEBODY HELP ME!! SAM! SAAAAAAAM!!!!!!” And then they are back in the classroom.

Malfoy is holding a hand to his jaw, and everybody is silent. Dean is crouched down in a corner, trembling and holding his knees to his chest.

Sam is next to him, hugging him gently and whispering, “Dean, you’re okay, Dean, Cas got you out, you won’t ever be going back, it’s okay.” The students go back to their seats quietly, not sure if they are dismissed. Malfoy looks guilty, and he slouches down in his seat, already deciding which detentions to go to because he didn’t realize where they were when he saw Dean crying.

Dean is out of his trance, wiping his eyes and standing up.

“And, that, is why none of you will ever make a deal in your life. Write an essay on hellhounds. Class dismissed.”

Sam is struggling with his own visions of hell, of fire and ice and Lucifer.

SPN SPN SPN

The students had decided that they were scarred for life. At dinner, Dean and Sam were very solemn, not joking around like they normally did. Harry, Ron, and Hermione, (and all the other Gryffindor students in that class with them), sat separately from the rest of the house, and talked about what they saw.

“How do you think he survived it?” Dean Thomas asked. “I mean, how long did they say he was there?”

“They said he was there for four months, the way time runs up here,” Hermione answered. “Apparently time runs differently there.” None of them could bring themselves to actually say the word Hell.

“Do you think Dumbledore will make them stop teaching that stuff?” Ron asked.

“Probably only the… um… the Hell stuff,” Harry answered. “Although, from the way Professor Dean was acting, I don’t think he meant to include that memory.”

“Well, would _you_ want to relive that?” Hermione snapped.

“Bloody hell, no!” Ron answered, and then flinched at his choice of words. They all turned to the teacher’s table and looked at the Winchester brothers. They were slowly starting to act normally, Dean laughing at something that Professor Lupin said.

“I wonder how they can live with themselves,” Dean Thomas muttered. “Having to live through all that. All those monsters that they talked about they lived through, and think of how simple and ‘nice’ they made the hellhounds and deals sound. And _that’s_ what they look like?”

“I guess we’ll find out, I think they’re planning on using the Pensieve regularly,” Harry said. At the same time, Dumbledore cleared his throat, catching the attention of all the students.

“Professor Sam and Dean Winchester wish to speak with all of their Defense Against the Dark Art students after dinner. We will have another guest staying with us for the remainder of the school year, and we ask that you treat him with respect. He is-“ Dumbledore was cut off by the sound of the Great Hall doors opening.

Harry saw the Winchesters exchange a confused glance like the rest of the students and staff, but as everyone turned to look at the newcomer, their faces lit up.

“Bobby!” they cried as they ran forward. “What are you doing here?”

“Somebody had to look after the two idjits, idjit, and Cas is busy dealing with keeping our friend Balthy in line,” the newcomer told them.

“Of course he’s causing trouble,” they hear Dean mutter. The three hunters did not seem to realize that the Great Hall was silent, everybody watching their exchange.

“Well, who’s helping the hunters at your place then?” Sam asked “Bobby.”

“Rufus and Jody are watching my place for the moment,” Bobby told them. “And all of our special stuff is in the panic room, so don’t worry about that, you idjits.”

“You mean… oh _Sheriff Mills_ ,” Dean said with a laugh and a wink. Bobby punched his shoulder and Dean winced, causing several teachers to move for their wands, earning a glare from all three hunters.

“Do you… wanna introduce me to your… acquaintances, you idjits?” Bobby asked them sternly.

“Do you always say idjits?” Malfoy asked, earning a glare from all three hunters and the other students.

“Detention, Malfoy, for earlier and speaking without raising your hand,” Dean told him.

“But it’s dinner!” Malfoy whined.

“And obviously we’re in a little bit of a different situation!” Dean said.

“Idjit,” Bobby said in answer.

“Anyway, everybody, this is Bobby Singer, our, uh, uncle slash dad and one of the best hunters you’ll ever meet!” Sam said proudly.

“Except for us, we’re obviously better,” Dean said.

“I dunno, I did save you idjits from the angels that one time,” Bobby said calmly.

“Yeah, by giving Balthazar the ingredients to another universe and getting the other Cas- what was his name, Sam, Misha?- killed! And don’t even get me started on Padaleski and, what was my name, Jensen! Ugh,” Dean shuddered and Sam laughed.

“Hey, at least I had a semi-normal name, and the girl!” Sam retaliated.

“Yeah, _Jared Padaleski_ , and you had a freaking llama in your backyard!” Dean joked.

“Um, it was actually Jared Padalecki, and it was an alpaca, according to other Ruby, and at least I didn’t star on a soap opera!” Sam shot back.

“You were on a soap opera, boy?” Bobby asked with a smirk.

“Hey, at least I didn’t go marry that evil bitch Ruby,” Dean told him.

“Watch your mouth, Winchester,” Professor McGonagall called out.

“Sorry, Glinda,” Dean responded, and Bobby burst out laughing while Sam shook his head and smirked. “But, yeah, let’s finish talking about our alternate universe selves after dinner.”

“Alternate universe selves?” Ron asked in a whisper. “Balthazar? Running from the angels? What is wrong with them?”

“Well, if they want us to find out, I guess we’ll know soon enough,” Hermione said in a whisper.

The Great Hall erupted in whispers as Bobby sat down with the Winchesters at a corner of the teacher’s table, evidently claiming it as their own little spot.

HP HP HP

Dinner ended, and the Winchesters almost forgot they wanted to talk to their students afterwards because of the excitement from Bobby arriving.

“Alright, everybody, gather over here,” Dean shouted as the rest of the students that weren’t in his class filtered out of the Great Hall. “You guys were great today, considering what you saw.”

The teachers filed out of the Hall as well, leaving the teachers and their students and friend alone.

“I just wanted to tell you, I swear to God- or Cas or whoever is playing God now- that you weren’t supposed to see that last memory, and if I could go back in time and stop it from happening I would, because no one should be burdened with seeing that,” Dean told them.

“What’d you do?” Bobby asked.

“Um, we showed them some of our memories of Sam dying the first time and then me making a deal and then the hellhounds getting me, but somehow one of my memories from Hell got in and they saw it,” Dean said quietly.

“Um, yeah, you want to tell me why you didn’t say anything about Alistair being there the first day? You said you were alone the first week!” Sam said with some temper.

“That was- that was just before I said yes, Sammy,” Dean answered. “That wasn’t the first day, more like the end of the first thirty years?”

“You- you showed them a memory from _Hell_?” Bobby asked incredulously. “Of the hellhounds and one of Sam’s deaths?”

“They are learning about the hellhounds!” Dean shot back.

“And what about the Hell memory?” Bobby asked again.

“It- it wasn’t the worst one, Bobby,” Dean told his friend. “Alistair was done with me for that day. I was healing again.”

“You call a hook in your shoulder and waist and being chained up healing?” Harry asked him in shock.

“When you’ve been in Hell for thirty years, kid, that’s a relief,” Dean said in response.

“Are you okay?” Bobby finally asked them. “Sam didn’t freak out?”

“His Hell was a lot different from mine if you think about it, Bobby,” Sam answered. “I mean, I was with Luci and Michael/Adam. It wasn’t too triggering to see. I mean, yeah, it sucked, but…”

“Hey, Sammy, don’t worry about it. You were there for a century, stuck with _Luci and Michael._ You had it a lot worse than I did,” Dean told his little brother.

“Um, can I ask what you’re talking about?” Seamus Finnigan asked.

“Long story short, I was supposed to be Michael’s meat suit, and Sammy was Lucifer’s, but Michael took Adam instead of me and Luci got inside of Sammy, so Luci was beating me up after killing Bobby and Cas, but Sam got control and threw himself in the Cage and took Michael/Adam with him, and then Cas healed me and brought Sammy back but Sammy’s soul was stuck with Lucifer and Michael in the Cage for a whole year which is equal to a century before Death got it back for us, and he put up a wall in Sam’s mind so Sammy wouldn’t remember Hell, cuz he was stuck with the Devil,” Dean said in one exhale.

“Yeah, that’s all you need to know,” Sam said in a pained tone. His students tried their hardest to not look at their teachers any differently. “And by the way, Bobby,” he said addressing his family member. “Don’t piss of the Snake dude, he’ll jinx you. Dean learned that the hard way.”

Bobby smirked and Dean smiled in relief, glad for the change of subject.

“And if any of you say anything about this to any of the other students I will call Crowley and let him have some fun,” Dean threatened the students. Sam and Bobby knew he wouldn’t do that, but the students didn’t.

“O-okay,” they all stammered. “Can we go now?” The professors nodded, and they went to their common rooms silently and in fear of accidently saying something, because not even Malfoy was thinking of disobeying that order.

SPN SPN SPN

More time passed without much fanfare, Dean and Sam got a hang of using the Pensieve, and Cas showed up a few times. It seemed that everyone was able to put the Hell incident to the back of their mind. Occasionally, they stopped by the magical counterpart to their class, the one that Lupin taught. They were talking to him one day in between classes.

“So what are you planning on teaching next?” Sam asked Lupin.

“I was going to teach them about Boggarts,” Lupin answered.

“What’s a Boggart?” Dean asked, seemingly always clueless.

“A Boggart is a creature that takes form of what you fear most,” Lupin explained, giving the two an inquisitory look. He only knew what Cas had mentioned in front of everybody that first day, that they had been to Heaven and Hell, nothing else. The students kept their promise and didn’t say anything, not even to the other professors. Dean and Sam were very grateful for that.

“Do you mind if we stop by while you’re teaching about them?” Dean asked almost politely.

“Actually, it’s going to be a school-wide thing, because they are becoming more active, and we think everyone should know how to handle them. The students don’t know about it yet, but it’s going to be mandatory,” Lupin told them.

“Oh. Okay. Will we have to do it? And Bobby, too?” Sam questioned him.

“You and your friend don’t have to do it, but Dumbledore thinks you should.”

“Gotcha. Okay, well, see you tomorrow,” Dean said his goodbyes and they left.

They went to Bobby’s room, where they found him studying some of the books he brought along with him.

“Hey, Bobby,” Sam said.

“What’s wrong?” Bobby asked without looking up from his book.

“Well, we found out that all of us- including you- have to face this thing called a Boggart that takes shape of your worst fear,” Dean said bluntly. “And there’s no choice in this matter, since you’re staying out of hospitality.” Okay, so he may have left out the fact that it was actually optional for them, but Dean was going to do it, and he didn’t want to be the only hunter that faced it.

“Okay, well, I guess I better prepare myself, then, huh,” Bobby said, finally looking at them. “Guys, we’ve got this easy. We’ve either killed or trapped everything we’re scared of, so we know there’s no way we can be hurt by this thing. Chill, ya idjits.”

Dean and Sam nodded.

“Now leave me alone, I’m helping Rufus look for a Striga in Colorado,” Bobby kicked them out.

“From England?” Dean asked.

“Shuddup,” Bobby snapped. “Now shoo, go away.”

“Geez, we’re leaving,” Sam said with a smile, holding his hands up in a sign of defeat.

They went to their own rooms and went to bed, tired enough that they could sleep without nightmares, for once in a long while.

HP HP HP

The next day, Sam and Dean got dressed and headed to the Great Hall, dread pooling in their stomachs. When they got there, they saw that most students and staff- including Bobby, who helped them teach their class- were there already. They walked up to their little corner of the table and sat down, and then Dumbledore stood up and cleared his throat, and Sam and Dean knew the dreaded moment had arrived. They weren’t so much scared of what they would see, but how the other people would react and treat them after they saw what they were scared of. They themselves had no idea what they were scared of most, and that made it that much worse.

“Today, we are going to have a mandatory lesson for every student and teacher,” Dumbledore started talking. Every kid in the Hall groaned. “We will have you face a Boggart, and you must either use Ridikkulus or choose to face the Boggart the whole time. This will begin immediately after breakfast is over, and will take place over the course of the entire day, therefore, classes will be canceled. We will have adults go first, so when you finish eating, please pick up your belongings and move to the center of the room. Please, carry on.” He waved his wand, and the food magically appeared.

“So, we’re going to face this thing without any protection,” Dean said out of nowhere.

“It won’t be that bad, Dean,” Sam tried to comfort his brother, but it wasn’t working very well, considering he was just as nervous himself. They finished their meal in silence and waited for Dumbledore to prepare the room.

As silence fell over the room, Bobby bravely stepped forward and said, “I’ll go first, if you don’t mind. Then these idjits can go and we’ll get this out of the way.” Dumbledore nodded. The tables were moved to the side, and a wardrobe appeared in the middle of the room. Bobby walked forward and stood in front of it.

“Good luck,” Sam and Dean both called at the same time. Bobby flashed them a weak smile and nodded at Dumbledore, who opened the wardrobe. There was a mist that flew out and then a figure stepped out. She was petite and blonde, and rather pretty, except for the stab wounds that were on her chest and sternum. Bobby took a shaky breath and stepped backwards. He reached for his pocket and grabbed his knife, even though he knew it wouldn’t do anything.

He didn’t even register the hundreds of eyes upon him as he said, “Karen.”

“You did this to me,” his wife hissed. “You let that thing possess me, and you killed me. You stabbed me, and you watched as the life bled out of my eyes.”

“I didn’t know any better!” Bobby protested. “I didn’t know how to save you! I couldn’t exorcise the damn thing, what did you expect me to do? Let it walk around in my wife’s meat suit?!” A few students flinched at the ugly words, while everyone else looked on silently.

“You could have at least tried,” the thing said in an icy voice, before walking back into the wardrobe, after Dumbledore started to sweep it away. Bobby wiped a sheen of sweat from his forehead and walked away without looking back. Sam stepped forward and walked in front of the wardrobe without a word. He jerked his head at Dumbledore, and he opened the wardrobe again.

A blonde-haired man stepped out. Half of his face was peeling, and he walked in circles around Sam.

“Sam, Sam, Sammy,” the man drawled. “I miss my little Sammy. You were the only fun thing down here. Won’t you come back, Sammy? Oh, I guess I can stop the torture. Do you want to know a secret, Sammy?” Dean looked at his brother with a scared face, and only a quarter of the students realized who they were looking at.

“You never left, Sammy,” Lucifer staged whispered, even though everyone could hear him. “You’re still in the Cage with me, Sam. This is all a dream. I have to admit, it was pretty brilliant, wasn’t it? My best torture yet.” He puffed his chest out proudly. “You’re still here. You believed it for a bit, didn’t you, Sammy? You never left?”

“That’s not true!” Sam shouted. “You’re not real! Cas pulled me out! I don’t ever have to see you again!”

“I’m sorry, Sammy,” the man breathed and his breath cooled the room down about twenty degrees. “You didn’t believe me when I told you I burned cold, did you? Well, you do now. Wake up, Sammy. The fun’s only starting.”

Everyone was frozen, not daring to move. Then the thing changed shape again, turning into Dean. Everyone looked at the older Winchester brother.

“You’re a monster, Sam!” Fake Dean snapped, and it looked like Sam broke in that moment. “You think I wouldn’t find out about Ruby, that you were sneaking around behind my back! You are a monster, Sammy. I tried to forget it, but then Dad told me I had to kill you if you turned evil, and I tried so hard to ignore you, killing all those demons!”

“It was to stop Lilith!” Sam protested weakly.

“That was your good excuse, yeah,” Boggart Dean snapped. “But then after you killed her- another person’s blood on your hands- you kept going back for more! You thought I wouldn’t see the blood stains on your sleeves, the silver flasks. I knew you were hoarding demon blood, Sam. I was just waiting for you to snap and turn into the thing that Azazel wanted you to be.”

“You’re lying!” Sam yelled. “I never hoarded demon blood! I hated it! The last time I touched it was so I wouldn’t die when I said yes to Lucifer!!” The Boggart Dean gave Sam a disgusted look before changing shapes one more time.

Now, it was Sam, but not Sam. It was the devil-possessed Sam, but still, only Bobby, Dean, Sam and the select few students realized that Sam wasn’t scared of himself.

“I’m back,” the devil sang. “I told you you couldn’t escape me, Sammy. You can’t escape yourself.” Then his mouth grew bloody, surrounded by the demon blood he had swallowed.

“You’ll always come back to this, Sammy. It’s an addiction to demon blood, not just a fun game to play. You may not be in the Cage, but you were a comfortable meat suit. When I escape, I’ll bring you back, just to wear you again. Wear you to prom.” He smirked at their “inside joke.”

“No, you won’t,” Sam said, finally gaining some courage again. “You are trapped in the Cage, and I will never say yes again! You will stay trapped forever. We have almost found God, and then there will be no way for you to escape, because He himself will trap you!”

As Sam yelled the last words at his monster-doppelganger, the thing turned around and walked back into the wardrobe. It turned and winked at Sam, saying “I’ll be waiting for you.” Then Dumbledore closed the wardrobe shut, and Sam seemed to collapse from the exhaustion of facing his three worst demons.

As if a spell was broken, Dean and Bobby rushed forward to catch Sam.

“Shh, it’s okay, Sammy, he was lying,” Dean comforted his little brother. He grabbed the younger Winchester’s hand, and pressed down at the semi-fresh stitches that he knew would hurt.

“See?” Dean asked. “This is real. _This_ is where you really are. You won’t ever go back to the Cage, and Cas has already locked up Lucifer again, and you’re not addicted to the blood anymore, you’ll be fine.” The students and staff were looking at the scene with semi-horrified expressions, but the students who were in the Winchester’s class looked on with sympathy. Sam nodded weakly and got up, and walked back to the hunter’s corner of Hogwarts.

Dean took a deep breath and then walked forward, taking his brother’s original spot. Dumbledore gave him a curious look and then opened the wardrobe. This time, a long, lanky man walked out, unshaven and unkempt.

“ _I’m in heaven… And my heart beats so… That I can hardly speak._ We miss our favorite little student down here, Dean. I know you’ve gotten some practice, I mean, you tortured me yourself. Very good job, by the way. It was fun choking on my throat.” All of the students looked disgusted by this man.

“Sam killed you,” Dean said calmly.

“Yes,” Alistair replied. “But I came back. I hear Crowley talk of offering you a job when you die for good.”

Dean snickered. “I’ll tell you this like I did for thirty years, Alistair. Stick it where the sun shines.”

“Ah, yes, you did tell me that. But then you didn’t. Remember that?” Alistair grinned. “Breaking the first seal. _‘And it is written, that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in Hell. As he breaks, so shall it break.’_ Good times, ‘eh, Dean? You know, little Cassie was waiting for you to break before he rescued you. Wanted to see if you kick-started the Apocalypse.”

“You son of a bitch,” Dean growled, and he lunged at Alistair with his demon-killing knife. “I will do it again, you hear me? I will torture you again, slower, so I can see the pain as it rips through your body, just for putting Sammy and me through that. You will regret being the one to torture me on the rack.”

“Ah, but you enjoy it, don’t you? Torturing the souls? I could see your smile as you carved into that weeping bitch, laughing as she cried out for mercy. I must say, I was expecting you to go easy on the little boy, though. He was quite young, wasn’t he?”

Alistair pulled Dean’s arm off of him and stood up, transforming into a trench-coat covered angel that even the youngest first year could recognize. He looked down at the knife protruding from his chest.

“You attacked me again?” Boggart Cas asked. “After all I have done for you, you still do not trust me. I rebelled for you, and you repay me with failure.”

“You failed yourself!” Dean shouted. “You disobeyed and backstabbed and _you_ are the one who made me torture Alistair!”

“We needed to know who killed the angels,” Cas said calmly.

“Yeah, it was the dick _you_ blindly took orders from,” Dean said.

There was a bright flash of golden light, and Cas held himself differently.

“You disobeyed me, Dean Winchester. You betrayed me. I will give you this one chance: bow down and profess your love unto me, or… or I shall destroy you.” Dean looked at his angel brokenly.

“No,” he said.

“No?” Fake God Cas asked. “I am your new God, and you say no? You will regret this decision, Dean.” Then the monster changed form again. All of the wizards looked on in confusion, and Sam and Bobby looked at Dean sadly.

“I told you to look after your brother, boy. And now you’ve gone and killed him. I told you only to do that if he turned dark side,” John Winchester said.

“I gave my soul for him!” Dean shouted. “It was more than you ever did! Don’t tell me I let you down when I was more of a father to him than you ever were!”

“That’s it,” John growled, and he stepped so close to Dean he could feel his breath against his cheek. “I tried to teach you, but you were disobedient. You failed me again and again. I lasted over two centuries in the pit, and you only lasted thirty years!! What does that say about you? Finally accept how weak you are?”

“I am not weak,” Dean growled back, and he shoved his father away from him.

“I’m not done with you yet,” the monster growled half way to his new form. Looking back at Dean was himself, only the demon version.

“There’s no escape, Dean,” the demon Dean said. “You’ll always end up here! And right now, you’re more of a monster than I could ever be. Attacking innocent rashakas? You led Jo and Ellen to their deaths. They’re in Hell now because you had the stupid idea that you could kill _the devil_ with _the Colt_. Deep down, you knew it wouldn’t work, and you knew you would kill them. I didn’t think you could get any worse.”

“She was not innocent and I am not a monster!” Dean screamed. “I have been to Heaven and Hell, I have been bullied and tortured and manipulated into saying yes to being an _angel’s meat suit_ , and I have gone to Purgatory, been a vampire, watched my brother be tortured, destroyed the Leviathans, watch family die millions of times knowing that I should have stopped it, and _I do not let that stop me_. I still hunt and rid this world of evil, and I do not lie to anyone, and I will always be better than a demon.”

“Ah, yes, you may have fixed your wrongs, but you still started the Apocalypse. You look in a mirror and hate what you see, and you did nothing to stop your brother from killing Lilith.”

“ _I did everything I could!!!_ I have killed myself a dozen times knowing that one day the real me could die for real and I will never be a demon, because I will never go to Hell again.”

“Keep saying that and maybe you’ll believe it,” Demon Dean said, and then he walked back into the wardrobe. The real Dean grabbed Sam and Bobby and walked out of the Great Hall with hundreds of eyes watching them as the broken family left and never looked back.

SPN SPN SPN

Every person realized that the Winchesters and Bobby were missing from dinner. They didn’t show up to dinner. Harry saw Cas walking out from Dean’s room the day after the Boggart class. Nobody needed to make anything up about what they saw, because everyone was already there, however, theories were spreading. None of them were pretty. Two days afterwards, all three men showed up to breakfast. All of the students knew to not mention anything in front of them, because they all wanted to keep their necks, thank you very much.

In the middle of the meal, Cas showed up, flanked by two men. The three hunters stood up and turned around to face the newcomers.

“Cas… why’d you bring Crowley and Balthazar here?” Dean asked cautiously. Everyone had fallen silent again, but the Winchesters didn’t seem to care anymore.

“There has been an uprising,” one of the new men said. He had a slightly British, slightly Scottish accent. “And your two hunters are leading it.”

“Who what where?” Dean asked him in a pissed off voice.

“Ellen and Joanna Beth Harvelle are leading an uprising in Hell,” the man said.

“Goddammit, Crowley!” Dean roared.

“Don’t use my father’s name in vain, Dean,” the other man said in a British accent.

“Shut up, Balthazar, I have some holy oil in my pocket and in case you haven’t noticed there are many flaming objects here,” Dean said.

There was a rush of wind and some say the saw wings against the wall before all flaming objects went out, including the candles that were lighting the Great Hall.

“So much for that threat,” Balthazar said in a lazy voice.

“Well what do you want us to do about it?” Sam asked in a tired voice. “It’s not like we’re going to waltz into Hell to solve one of _your_ problems, Crowley. We’ve learned to not do that the hard way.”

“I want your promise that you won’t kill any more of my demons. At least, my personal favorites,” Crowley quickly added on, seeing the Winchester’s and Bobby’s angry glares.

“In exchange for what,” Bobby asked cautiously. Crowley gave him a wan smile and snapped his fingers. The doors to the Great Hall opened and there was a rush of wind. Outside the doors, there were two blonde women, obviously related.

“Ellen?” Bobby breathed.

“Jo?” Dean asked, hating that his voice was choked up. Sam just stood by silently, eyes not leaving the mother and daughter he had last seen on the floor of a convenience store.

They ran forward and Dean smashed his lips onto Jo’s as Bobby and Sam attacked Ellen in a giant bear hug. Dean vaguely realized he was crying, but then he was holding Ellen and Jo in his arms and he had his family and he was safe, and Cas was alive, and he was able to forget all the guilt that had been weighing on his shoulders since the Boggart.

“Sorry to break this up, Moose and Squirrel, but I still need to talk to you,” Crowley interrupted.

“Are- are they really going to stay?” Dean asked in the most vulnerable voice the students had ever heard. Crowley nodded.

“But only if you promise not to kill these demons,” he repeated his only condition from earlier.

“Who?” Sam asked.

“I need you to let Nicor, Meg, John, and Mel live. Not your John,” Crowley added quickly.

“Can I practice the pizza man with Meg?” Cas spoke up. Dean and Sam shuddered.

“We told you to not talk about that dude,” Dean told his friend. “And, you know, dude, I call the Impala Baby, which would make me a babysitter.” Dean smirked as Cas and Sam’s eyes widened in realization.

“Dude, little kids here!” Sam reminded his brother.

“Well, if they know what we’re talking about, then it doesn’t matter, now does it?” Dean shot back.

“Seriously, Dean,” Sam replied. “I do not need that image in my head.”

“Well, sorry dude, good luck forgetting this,” Dean said, and then he grabbed Cas by the lapels of his trench coat and pulled him close. Sam closed his eyes and groaned, already trying to remember a good brand of brain bleach. Several of the students groaned, but it looked like Bobby, Ellen, and Jo were hiding a grin. They had been around those two often enough to know there was some sexual tension between them. Sam tried to stay ignorant.

“So who was the better pizza man, me or Meg?” Dean asked in a cocky grin.

“Are you sure you want the answer?” Cas teased.

“Oh my God,” Dean groaned.

“Dean, seriously, stop saying God like that,” Balthazar scolded him. “It would be like us saying ‘Oh my John.’”

“Dude, what the hell?” Sam said. “Are they done yet?”

“Yes, you can open your eyes again, Moose,” Crowley told him. The group of hunters smiled. They had a place of shelter, the world wasn’t ending, and they had all of their family together again. Everything was alright in the world.

THE END


End file.
